Please welcome our new sex blogger, After Hours. A variety of perspectives on sex will be explored under this alias. This time, we’re not fumbling the anonymity.

Though it’s my third year at Columbia, it’s only my first being here and being single. My high school relationship ended over the summer, and I’ve spent the start of the semester navigating those unfamiliar waters of courtship and seduction at this university. There have been missteps, of course, so I’m here to share what I’ve learned so far with all those other newly single girls, freshly heartbroken and healed of those overly serious adolescent relationships. I know there are a lot of you. So if you find yourself going home with someone for the first time since your breakup, here are things to bear in mind.

1. Don’t mention your ex (too much).
While it’s probably good to mention your general situation, e.g., “I just got out of a serious relationship,” don’t dwell on your ex. It can be a mood killer and will make it patently obvious that this is a rebound. For instance, don’t say, “Your chest hair reminds me of my ex.” Even if it’s true.

2. Turn your phone on silent.
So it’s been a few weeks since you’ve heard from your ex, and he’s the last person you’d expect to call you right now. But somehow, somehow, he can sense what’s going on, and you’re in some guy’s bed and your phone starts to vibrate loudly. (You wouldn’t believe how loud it actually is.) It’s your ex, calling you at 3:30 in the morning. You ignore the call, but it keeps on ringing. Then the texts start. “I miss you,” they say. “I’m lonely.” Maybe you’re tempted to pick up his call, to say that you miss him too, that you are lonely too, that maybe you two should just give it another shot. But take it from me: that can wait for the morning. Turn your phone on silent so your night of hedonism can go uninterrupted.
Read the rest of this entry »

I’m considering a move to San Francisco or Portland after graduation–planning ahead pretty far in advance, seeing as I’m just wrapping up my sophomore year. After thinking about this for a while, the thought of living that far away from New York seems suddenly terrifying. I’ve never lived more than four hours from the city–that was during my boarding school years. And although I lived outside Boston, I made frequent sojourns to the soul of the world on breaks and braved the Fung Wah to escape some weekends.

So I wonder: what is it about East Coast Living that has me so scared to leave? I was nearly jumping for joy as I prepared to break from my New England roots and move to New York, but I almost cried when I realized I would likely never experience a full New England autumn again. Turns out I am an East Coast woman, through and through.

A brief interlude before I begin my diatribe on the importance of geographical origins: singer/songwriter and Boston native Jonathan Richman has an apt tribute to the little five states that could. Listen to it here. Actually, I would encourage all my readers to listen to the song whilst reading the rest of this column.
Read the rest of this entry »