because we all like to hear about what’s going on in other people’s lives at Columbia…
CU roommate 1: You can’t recycle used tissues.
CU roommate 2: Oh, you found those?
Prof. o’ Logic: .. object of interest. Object of our desire. Wow. I don’t know where that came from. (pause) I feel really weird now.
Announcer on 1 train: Stay clear of the closing doors, thank you. [pause] I said STAY CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS. DO I HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE?! GET IN OUR GET OUT, SIR!
CU Grad Student: Gossip Girls? I’ve never heard of that.
CU Sophomore: It is only the greatest show in television.
CU Sophomore 2: I hate that show.
CU Soph 1: You only say that because you hate America.
CU Soph 2: No I don’t. I love our country.
CU Soph 1: But Gossip Girls IS the American culture.
CU Student: No, she can’t come out with us. It’s after sundown.
CU Student 2: Wait, can “jew people” have sex?
CU Student 1: I’m not going to answer that question.