Tyra Banks–

First of all, I think the most obvious question is if they are all throwing out their bras, why aren’t they doing this topless? The second question is, Tyra—learn more about feminism before you open your cave-like trap! Wait, that’s not a question. That’s because Tyra is an idiot and is just perpetuating the inaccurate myth that a group of women protesting the 1968 Miss America competition burned their bras when in reality, they symbolically threw a bunch bras and other constricting underwear in trashcans. So way to go, Tyra! This just makes me violently dislike you even more than I did before! See, I originally hated you because of your terrible Oprah-wannabe, fake-hair-slinging attempts at interviews. A sample Tyra interview would go like this:

Tyra: So, you lost both your parents in a brutal murder scandal when you were just eleven years old, right? Didn’t that make you feel awful and lost and vulnerable? (bats fake eyelashes at camera)

Orphan girl: (tears welling) Yes, I did. And yes, I felt aw—

Tyra: –I am right there with you, girl. This reminds me of when I was 16 and I was just starting out my hugely successful modeling career. My agency sent me to Paris for six months and I had to live on my own and didn’t have my mommy with me and it was really hard. But you know what, I perservered and here I am today, a giant supermodel and I LOVE MY BODY! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (does an uncoordinated booty shaking dance)

And that, my dear friends, is why I hated Tyra yesterday. But today I have a whole new slew of awesome reasons to hate her. But I also love her because she gave me something to write about…

On a final note, on last night’s premiere of America’s Next Top J.C. Penny Model, Tyra crowned herself Homecoming Queen and cried fake mascara tears while maniacally waving and doing this high-pitched screaming thing only other dogs could hear.  Recreating an empty childhood much, Tyra? God she really scares me.

Or rather upcoming smear campaign.

Blogger Larry Johnson–whose authority on Technorati is a whopping 450 something (ours is 4, Bwogs is somewhere in the mid-150s)–fears that the right is going to take a supposed Rashid Khalidi-Barack Obama connection and run with it. Of course there is no real Obama-Khalidi connection, as the Edward Said professor of Arab studies has absolutely no ties to the Obama campaign and has never gone on the record as supporting him. They apparently knew each-other from their U Chicago days, but it would take an astonishing amount of spin to paint Obama as a secret, dyed-in-the-wool PLO sympathizer.

So why is an influential left-leaning blogger even bringing up Khalidi in the first place? Johnson seems to believe that Obama’s future, hypothetical failure to deal with his Khalidi problem reflects a lack of candor on the candidate’s part; however this disingenuously suggests that 1) there is a Khalidi problem and that 2) it’s big enough for Obama to have to publicly acknowledge one of these days. This could just be a ridiculous scenario dreamed up by a rabid Hilary supporter, and this post probably belongs in the “make the bastard deny it” school of political trickery. 

But there’s the distinct possibility that the right-wing spin machine actually will start drawing unsavory Khalidi-Obama connections. Since former PLOniks simply aren’t very sympathetic figures for most of mainstream America, it’s really a no-lose move–if Obama repudiates Khalidi, it means he’s acknowledging some kind of a past relationship with him. If he doesn’t, the smear will hold true, at least for some people. Not sure what Obama does in this situation, but here’s to hoping that the ugly side of presidential politics stays the hell out of Morningside Heights.

Shit, too late.