because we all like to hear about what’s going on in other people’s lives at Columbia…
CU roommate 1: You can’t recycle used tissues.
CU roommate 2: Oh, you found those?
Prof. o’ Logic: .. object of interest. Object of our desire. Wow. I don’t know where that came from. (pause) I feel really weird now.
Announcer on 1 train: Stay clear of the closing doors, thank you. [pause] I said STAY CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS. DO I HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE?! GET IN OUR GET OUT, SIR!
CU Grad Student: Gossip Girls? I’ve never heard of that.
CU Sophomore: It is only the greatest show in television.
CU Sophomore 2: I hate that show.
CU Soph 1: You only say that because you hate America.
CU Soph 2: No I don’t. I love our country.
CU Soph 1: But Gossip Girls IS the American culture.
CU Student: No, she can’t come out with us. It’s after sundown.
CU Student 2: Wait, can “jew people” have sex?
CU Student 1: I’m not going to answer that question.
Rando stranger: Do you have tickets to the show?
Normal CU student: What show?
Rando: To the gun show! (whips out arms)
Normal CU Student: Why yes, actually, I do. Thanks
(in Arabic class… learning “family vocab”)
Student 1: Do you have a sister?
Student 2: Yes, I do have a sister.
Student 1: Is she pretty?
Student 2: … Yes.
Student 1: Where does she live? What does she study? Is she lonely?
Student: Is there an underground train system like this in the Middle East?
Arabic teacher: No. There, we have camels.
if you find any or overhear any interesting shenanigans, feel free to send them my way.