The currently uncharted TENTH CIRCLE OF HELL, overlooked by Dante due to its nonexistence at the time: A Lit Hum discussion dominated by a Fundamentalist girl who obviously does not understand the Catholic requirements for entry to heaven. This circle would be chilled to approximately sixty degrees Fahrenheit; the occupants would be dressed in jeans and light t-shirts, and the air-conditioning control would be broken. The sin is as yet unknown (the principle of contrapasso has yet to suggest a crime) but several of us seem to have already been condemned and dispatched.
The discussion would run something like this, looped ad infinitum:
Girl: “But I don’t understand…how does Purgatory work? Didn’t Jesus’ death wash away our sins? They all accepted Jesus into their hearts…that means that they’ve been promised a place in heaven. Right? Right? That’s why Jesus died.”
Teacher: “Well, you see, the Catholic church believed and still believes that even if you’ve led a good life, the sins that you’ve committed won’t just disappear when you die. You need to earn forgiveness for them. It’s cathartic, really – forgiving yourself as God forgives you.”
Girl: “But you don’t have to forgive yourself! God’s already forgiven you!”
Teacher: “As the church saw it, God couldn’t forgive you unless you yourself have come to terms with your sin. To believers, the guilt of the sins (especially sins on the scale of the seven venal sins) was so huge that any form of repentance offered on the human scale was just not enough. To truly receive forgiveness, then, they needed to repent more than they could in the world – hence the penance done in Purgatory, which allowed them to repent on a more divine scale.”
Girl: “They didn’t need to feel guilty, though…”
I’d take burial in ice over that any day.