It’s not in the name anymore, regardless of what any anyone else thinks. In a huge upset to the baby-naming world, 54-year old Angel Figueroa has been arrested for the string of robberies that have occurred in and around the Morningside Heights area. And what sucky robberies they were too, having taken only a few hundred at each place.
Figueroa was trapped when the guard put the store in lock-down, leaving our neighborhood criminal in an awkward position. I mean, imagine how shit you’d feel walking into a store, attempting a robbery, only to end up getting locked in, and have a bunch of strangers who you’ve endangered look at you right in the eye. To add the cherry to the cake, they all stare at you in disgust… while the cops arrive.
What sucks even more is if you had just been released from jail a few days ago. Sounds like Angel.
Now that Figuero’s behind bars, let’s look at the bigger issue: whether or not his name was sent from above, Angel Figuero’s main contribution to society has been in disproving the age-old theory about how your name shapes who you become and that being a small-time crim robbing stores means more jailtime.
wonder if he’ll have a girlfriend named Jesus in prison …
Said Sarah Cohler,
On January 28, 2008 at 12:55 pm: